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Makings

by Jesse Olsen Bay

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    Suggested donation for this album is $8. Please pay what you are able! Download includes 16 page booklet, with images, notes, and lyrics.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in digi-pak with original artwork and 16-page booklet.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Makings via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Poster/Print + Digital Album

    Lyrics from 'Thank You, Sleep' from Makings. 8" x 12" letter press print on heavy weight artist paper. Printed on an early 20th century press, by Eric Johnson of Iota Press.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Makings via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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    edition of 25  6 remaining
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  • Poster/Print + Digital Album

    Lyrics from the song 'Winter' from Makings. 8" x 16" letter press print on heavy weight artist paper. Printed on an early 20th century press, by Eric Johnson of Iota Press.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Makings via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 25  9 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

1.
I am lost in my arrowing maze, stumbling dazed I am drowned in a vast forgetting I am washed by the waves, I am rocked I am beached on your infinite body I’m on a forced march from my country I’m in the middle of a bad fix I am sunk by the roadside I am drenched I am dazzled I am lashed I am twined I am begging I am bound I am blinded And I am thrust back into the long ago I am thrust into the new I am struck by the sun, I am prism I’m in the white night of a storm I’m in a stone fetus, trying to be born I am holding my hands up, bleeding I am trembling, I am ravenous, I am receding I am innocent I am ignorant I am unspoken I am resistless I am yielded I am closer, I am closer And I am everywhere but in my grave Everywhere but in my grave
2.
The kaleidoscope, the twists and turns The shapes and forms, reflected The colors swirl, reveal, conceal Memory’s mists are rising What comes to the surface? What remains, what never leaves? What accidental wind blows the memory’s fragile seeds? One blows to the rock, one blows into the sea One finds deep and fertile earth, and grows into a tree The breast less girl, forever young, under the Catalpa The new ploughed fields, the black, stitched earth I stretch my chest against it The alleyways, the empty lots, the thunders in the night The shirtwaists, and the clothes hanging dejected on the line The moanings of the city dogs, the raven’s hacking caw The smell of burning paper as we leave for Omaha The Kansas coat, damp to the bone. Winter, 1930 Little one, the money’s gone. Hard times are coming The nights I held them in my arms and gentled them to sleep While songs of tangled searching twined through nerve and bone of me The years move on, the ghosts awake, arise, and ask for life The dusk is always falling and the evening always nigh The dust is always restless and the wind is always high
3.
When they lived, and were young, and the long day done They put down their chores, and they walked the table round The hours would pass as the writers would talk Of people and fancies, and elegant thoughts Charlotte, Emily, in the house all asleep Anne, Katherine, in the night’s quiet deep Whispering, musing, sparking, exchanging Oh my sisters in pen, my embodied loved ones When you lived, and were young, and ambition was strong What might you have spoke, in the hours before dawn?
4.
Winter 04:51
The first sight of snow, that midnight Opening the window for air What I first wildly thought were insects Like in the headlights, the burning nights of summer No, snow bees Snow comes back to me Winter sun, the great white zero Naked and burned, all against white, that contains all colors The slow swirl, the howling wind The moth snow, the fire of the year gone Not even ember Ice windows,ice lace Ice threads, ice glass Ice feathers, ice fleece Ice tears, ice sheets Sun striking ice prism Violets, purples, and reds The trace lines, permanent, transient Fixed evanescence, visible and frozen Ice cobwebs, ice coins Ice leaf, ice wings Ice coral, ice ferns Ice ruffles, ice sheaves Ice forms from formlessness Ice ringing permanence Electric calligraphy Incandescent pagodas, Granadas Ice pendants, ice pearls Ice ghosts, ice grains Ice crystals, ice curves Ice harps, ice flames Ice waterfall that does not fall Translucent tears The dream shapes and forms Museum specimens, embedded Angular Euclid, Steuben shapes Motion in motionlessness It was the heaviest winter in living memory The snows heaped waist high, shoulder high Two weeksd, I narrowed into my house, cloud cover topping my head Mornings, the glistening walls dazzling Blinded, I had to feel my way
5.
Fog 03:40
Fog, white wind, milk night Hood, wisps, trail, down ­drift Breath spirals, breath coils Blowing veils, ribbons Marvelous, the way the fog stands on the horizon Solid soft and ragged, glows as if from underwater Fog, swelling, thinning Shawl over Sutro Erasing, blotting Revealing, baring Fog that crowns my city, gentling the skyline Fog inside whose shadow all other shadows are lost
6.
Hymn to Life 02:50
Anne, Anne, life is a miracle You, you, you are a miracle Breath, breath, to breathe is a miracle Words, air, children, a miracle I have a friend named Zdena She’s like a little grandmother I brought her some nasturtiums, and out flew a ladybug She’s down on her hands and knees, looking for the little creature To return it to the yellow flower, and put it in her scrap of yard So that it may continue to live She too could not take life She could spill no blood Anne, Anne, life is a miracle You, you, you are a miracle You strong song, rooted in miracle Life is a miracle, words are a miracle, you are a miracle Anne
7.
Orion, hunter, heavy and tired Low and sparkling Sirius Vega, rising Glittering Taurus Arcturus, bringer of Spring Betelgeuse, Aldebarn, the Gemini, the Sickle Flaring Venus in the western sky The thousand year old light, shining from the hundred million suns A thousand years and still traveling, to reach my eyes and travel on The braid and combs of light, shining in an evanescent weaves Tranquil, pure, and luminous Center of dark radiance Distance, distance, reaching on To never see the new And I’ll be dead a thousand years when the light of present reaches here The old, old light
8.
This morning in the meadow, in the mild sunshine, sunflowers taller than me A dream that floated up Recollection As if I was still that child Yes, there was such an empty lot, after the rain and heat Sunflowers all seemingly higher than the grown-ups The dream, the nightmare: I was planted among them, stalk of me Slowly, slowly, with the other heads, turning to keep the sun
9.
I do not stir The frost makes a flower, the dew makes a star The dead bell Somebody’s done for
10.
Sister, Star 02:40
Breathe on me Breathe on me still Sister, Star North Star in the dark night Bearings, Steadiness, Radiance The faith of your constancy
11.
This Ae Night, this ae night, every night and all Fire and fleet and candlelight, this ae night and all This Ae Night, this ae night, every night and all Light and sight and memory light, this ae night and all ...Oh my dead, beloved dead… ...My own death, my coming death… ...Every day and every hour…
12.
Madness 03:48
Nights now, unbound I reach out my harkening hands Madness, welcome I seek you gladly I yield, I yield No more am I frightened I yield, I yield I know your secrets Night scrawl, unwound Let us now know each other Madness, bleed out I’ll make you mine I bend, I break the edge of the ocean, wherein I wander I bend, I break The edge of the desert, wherein I’m driven
13.
Cocooned here, sleep comes easy and deep And when I dream, the dead live again They come on in with a freedom memory cannot grant And what I wake with, so beautiful Thank you, sleep. Thank you for the being with them again In innocence and new My dead, my beloved dead
14.
A man’s body, and his child’s, surrendered in sleep. Center of radiance Dark luminous radiance Immense world The father knows Dark rays the radiance Island of love, Dark luminous radiance A man’s body, and his child’s, surrendered in sleep The trusting of sleep
15.
Aging 02:32
Now there is November in my body and I’ve begun my journey into stone The earthquakes and the fissures, the crevices and cracks Covered in the siftings of the years Look upon my face, the lines, the pits, the scars The harrowings, the damages of days Read my flesh and bone, my skin as if a map The weathers, and the rivulets of veins Aging, aging, slowly takes place Find my grey and windy home I am the twisted Cypress, the tree at timberline Dust in my lungs, sea water in my veins Burning coals in my heart I am split open, the airs blow through I wait for change to come again I’ll shed my clothes I’ll shed my hair and skin I’ll shed my weariness and woes What remains? From the root, I am a human being
16.
Moon 05:16
Full moon, new moon, half moon Setting moon, rising moon, ghost moon Thing moon, swollen moon, scimitar moon Curved moon, crescent moon, clear moon Blood moon, pure moon, wafer moon White moon, stained moon, roman coin moon Dusk moon, oval moon, smoke moon Naked moon, blinding moon, quill moon Wraith moon, smolder moon, orange cup of moon
17.
Cool silver pours into black night Pearl rivers run into jade seas White candles burn to still blue flames And sleep sings slow dark melodies And quiet sleep, and hushed sleep will sing you slow dark melodies
18.
Who will write these dead? The refusing to go gentle The glorious and conscious The desiring not to know Who will write this fight for life?
19.
Hiroshima 05:08
The bombs will fall on all, the weathered old, the infant young Those who give life, and those who take Never again let this be Earth conceal not the blood shed upon thee
20.
The night splits in two The moan and tossing The abrupt, gestured rising Waking I sleep, sleeping I wake The night is falling, and I am rising Wall to wall down the narrow corridor Gathering nightshade, insomnia flower The night is pouring, and I am swimming in my insomniac sea Holy strange power, companioning me. Where is my lullaby? Someone to sing me, to rock me, to lull me. Where is my lullaby? Someone to sing me to sleep.

about

Music created from unpublished writings by my grandmother, acclaimed author/activist Tillie Olsen.

credits

released June 29, 2014

Composed, performed, and recorded by Jesse Olsen Bay.

Mixed by Carlos Arredondo and Jesse Olsen Bay.
Mastered by Jonathan Burnside at A Secret Location.

Art by Brooke Holve

This album is dedicated to my grandparents: Sonia and Willie Margulis, Tillie and Jack Olsen.

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Jesse Olsen Bay Montague, Massachusetts

Western Massachusetts based composer and performer Jesse Olsen Bay creates aural landscapes and narratives to explore the depths of the human experience.

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